I am a great admirer of Jessica Hagy & her philosophical leanings.
Patience is more of a tool than a virtue. Too much of it and you let the world trample what’s good in you; you become a doormat. Too little, and you trample what’s good in your world; you become a terror.
Applying this tool can be complicated, but like any tool, there are specific situations where it is useful and situations where it only frustrates. And, like any tool, it can be applied differently over time. You may have different goals at different stages of your life, and patience (or applied impatience) can help you reach those goals as they change.
(high stress + high power = calculated ambition)
Be patient with everyone but yourself. Pushing yourself while giving others time and space means you can make the most of everyone’s efforts with minimal confrontations. Maintaining this double standard is often excruciating, but equally as often wise and worthwhile.
(low stress+ low power = deliberate relaxation)
When you are exhausted from striving, embrace calm. Be patient with everyone, including yourself. Peace comes from a lack of urgency or fear of threat. When you give yourself and others the gift of patience, you remove those impediments to restfulness.
To be frustrated:
(high stress + low power = unearned entitlement)
Be impatient with others but give yourself all the slack. This is the opposite of an ideal situation. Encouraging this dynamic also means you’ll be less likely to benefit from others’ patience in the future. While this feeling is unavoidable for realistic humans, understanding it can help minimize its frequency.
To be appreciated:
(low stress + high power = abundant generosity)
Apply patience to others liberally and remove yourself from the stress equation. In such cases, patience is a gift you give when the stakes are low for you and higher for those who can receive your patience. When you are supportive from the sidelines, you become an obvious force for good, and more likely to be a recipient of it in the future.